Enable remote connections for SQL Server Express 2012

I just installed SQL Server Express 2012 on my home server. I’m trying to connect to it from Visual Studio 2012 from my desktop PC, and repeatedly getting the well-known error:

A network-related or instance-specific error occurred while establishing a connection to SQL Server. The server was not found or was not accessible. Verify that the instance name is correct and that SQL Server is configured to allow remote connections. (provider: Named Pipes Provider, error: 40 – Could not open a connection to SQL Server)

What I’ve done to try to fix this:

  • Run SQL Server Configuration Manager on the server and enable SQL Server Browser
  • Add a Windows Firewall exception on the server for TCP, ports 1433 and 1434 on the local subnet.
  • Verify that I have a login on the SQL Server instance for the user I’m logged in as on the desktop.
  • Verify that I’m using Windows Authentication on the SQL Server instance.
  • Repeatedly restart SQL Server and the whole dang server.
  • Pull all my hair out.

How can I get SQL Server 2012 Express to allow remote connections!?

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